Free yourself to will and you’ll have free will

Up until now, my site has been mostly about the radical positive changes I observed after going on a 90-day Colonix program. Keep in mind that I never dealt with digestive troubles of such a magnitude that medical intervention was required: my occasional heartburns or gas always resolved on their own and, in the big scheme of the slew of things affecting me, were rather inconsequential.

My main problems were depression, general weakness and permanent blues and blahs. I simply couldn’t enjoy my life. I was angry, fearful –hence distrustful- unfocused and overall dissatisfied with my lot. I had no desire to do anything, getting up in the morning was an overwhelming and aimless undertaking and I would drag myself to a job I dreaded, looking forward to returning home and… go to sleep after having numbed myself for a few hours with mindless TV shows or movies, cigarettes and wine. If that’s what life was about, I no longer wanted any part of it.

Because my body was in such a bad shape (although it wasn’t “sick” by medicine standards, as evidenced by my occasional check-ups), my mind was sick. I had done quite a few dumb things in my life –and was still doing them- which I knew were contributing to my condition, but I was at that place where I would passively endure without any clue about what to do and where to start, other than blame myself for my ongoing stupidity and lack of will power. To top it off, no one could help me: my well-meaning healthy-minded friends would tell me: “Don’t be depressed. It serves no purpose” or “Why don’t you join a gym?” Don’t be depressed? I’m all in favor of it. But how do you propose I do that, exactly? Join a gym? Well, I did. I went there a few times, I hurt myself, I felt worse afterwards and, exhausted, I had to crash for two hours to get over it. Tell me again: how it is helping me? Just in case I missed something…

Some not-so-well-meaning friends would go as far as say: “As you make your bed, you sleep in it. You brought it upon yourself”. A heck of a comfort to throw it right back in my face. That would irk me to no end and make me feel worse: not only was I feeling lousy all the time but it was by my own doing. Hearing what they had to say brought out anger instead of relief. I eventually did away with those friends.

In earnest, Colonix was the first step toward my recovery. The wonderful thing about it is that it started me on a quest for sustained wellbeing and accomplished a miracle for me (and thousands of others who shared their testimonials). Since it delivered more than I expected and much faster than pills or psychotherapy, I decided to trust the company behind it and take the next step: Toxinout. And in fact, things really do happen for a reason: as far as I was concerned, the order and the timing in which I proceeded were perfect… for me. I would simply not have been able to foot the price of both programs at once, had I originally decided to go for “the works”.

A year after completing Colonix, I ordered Toxinout, not really expecting anything since I was already feeling great. And to be honest, but for a seemingly insignificant incident, I don’t think that I would have noticed any drastic difference.

I have a shirt that was given to me a long time ago and, quite frankly, I never wore it. It is a yellow and black plaid, with navy blue lining and buttons… which makes absolutely no sense! Who in his right mind would line a black shirt with navy blue? Since I could not make sense of that unheard-of fashion faux pas, I always somehow doubted the accuracy of my eyesight. On the other hand, I see everything else, although with glasses. Why would my eyes betray me that much for what a stupid shirt was concerned? I always liked that shirt but I simply couldn’t wear it as is. So, I didn’t. Actually, every time my eyes caught a glimpse of it, I would pull it out of the closet, bring it to the window, stare at it in the sun light (miracles have been known to happen and I am an incurable optimist) and, disappointed, ask my daughter, then in high school, what color it was. And every time, she would come to the window, roll her eyes and utter some variation of the following: “Mom, how many times will I have to tell you that it is black! For Pete’s sake, wear it or give it away but, please, get over it! And for the life of me, stop bugging me with it!” Actually, last time, she blew a fuse over my thickness, angry about my refusal to submit once and for all to what she perceived to be the law of evidence: if I saw it black and if she saw it black, then it was black. Period. End of discussion. Both of us ended up in an argument, a shouting match of sort, our feelings hurt over… a stupid shirt. Dumb and rather immature on my part.

Well, I am both very happy and extremely sad to report that the child was wrong, wrong, wrong! (I love the sound of that…) I realized it several weeks ago, when looking once again at that shirt (I like it too much. Never could get rid of it). In fact, all along, it was yellow and navy blue, hence the blue buttons, lining and sewing thread. Part of me felt vindicated (did I say immature?) for having doubted my eyesight and trusted my common sense. Part of me was thrilled about having recovered said eyesight. And part of me became very concerned about the implications of such a discovery…

Which brings me to some very important points: as we gradually become more and more toxic, we lose our senses (tools of perception) at an earlier age. Many people reach their 60s, unable to differentiate between dark brown, navy blue and black without ever being diagnosed with any vision trouble other than what is considered “normal age-related macular degeneration”. Many women stop knitting and sewing at that age because of it. Losing our perception of colors, smells, taste, etc. is considered a normal part of aging. It is expected and when it happens, our doctors tell us: “What do you expect? It’s called getting old” I know I never had any corneal or retinal disease but I could no longer, for quite some time, distinguish between certain colors. But for Toxinout, I would never have known about it. I was not “getting older”, I was getting more toxic! Age-related macular degeneration might simply be just that: another degenerative ailment resulting from a toxic body. Needless to say, Toxinout is now as much part of my life as clementines in the winter, eight glasses of water during the day, Christmas once a year and the Colonix program every four months or so.

The next point I want to make is quite sobering: if my daughter, who grew up on homemade soups and salads and a healthy diet primarily made of fruits and vegetables, could not, at the age of 16, differentiate between black and navy blue, does that mean that she was already suffering from macular or other type of ocular degeneration? If such is the case, the “age-related” part of it would be blown right out of the window. Yet, our ophthalmologist never saw anything suspicious when examining her eyes. She doesn’t even wear glasses.

It has commonly been assumed and said that children’s bodies do not start aging until they first reach adulthood: supposedly 18 for a girl and mid-20s for a boy. Is this no longer true? Are they actually starting to suffer from degenerative diseases before their bodies are fully grown and developed? Are those degenerative diseases in children the result of increased toxicity, at a greater scale and faster pace than before? Are our children growing old before they are done growing up? In that case, shouldn’t we start exploring all existing means of reversing the damage or, at the very least, make every effort to understand where it originates so as to prevent it in the first place? My kid never smoked or even drank alcohol (until college, that is), she was always enrolled in some physical activity (jazz, hip-hop, tumbling), she walked two miles every day to and from school, she ate relatively well, and, in her childhood, I don’t believe that she was prescribed antibiotics more than… three times, maybe? Yet, she displayed symptoms of a toxic body at the age of 16!

The last point I want to make is this: needless arguments can start out of skewed perceptions, as evidenced by the shirt incident. Perceptions depend greatly on our senses (sight, smell, touch) and senses depend on health. Healthy ears hear well. Healthy eyes see well. Sick sinuses interfere with both the sense of smell and the sense of taste. Are all arguments, then, triggered by misperceptions? I don’t know but one thing is certain: shows of explosive anger are becoming more frequent. Our society is becoming more violent: in fact, more violent, irrational crimes are being committed in the US than in any other part of the world and, sad to say, the US are the country where people have the poorest diet. If, as Drs. William James, Carl Lange and Jesse Prinz theorize, emotions originate in the body rather than the mind (anger is an emotion), and if our society is becoming angrier by the day, it would make sense to look into the condition of our bodies as the root cause for our negative emotions.

To me, this is a fantastic news: instead of being the passive victim of the environment or feeling overwhelmed and doomed by our impotence before it, it would mean that we can actually take action to overcome the negative impact on us of said environment.

So, what can we do? Where do we look for answers? How can we minimize the effects of environmental toxins on our bodies? And, most of all, where do we start?

Before taking action, we need first to remove any guilt from our mind. Yes, we may have partially caused our diseases by certain actions we took and habits we developed. We may even have knowingly done dumb things to ourselves and be reaping from them through aches, pain, illness and diseases. But was it really “knowingly”? Or were we simply unable to sort between beneficial and detrimental among the many sources we were receiving our information from?

Whether and to which extent we were responsible is relatively unimportant. What matters is to sit down and take the time to examine what decisions we took to get us where we are, figure out which ones are really under our control, discard the destructive ones and take on new ones. Simple. And let’s stop beating ourselves up: it is counter-productive, it takes all the energy we need to set on our new course of action and it is destructive.

Christine
CBrightlife@aol.com